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Defining by Negative Example

Once upon a time I was a fundamentalist. I didn’t know it then — I was only a teenager. I had never traveled, never known many other Christians outside my own tradition. My spirituality was defined largely by things I didn’t do: “don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t chew, don’t go with girls who do.”

Then I went away to college. Thankfully, it was a wonderful institution with a broad Evangelical tradition. I had friends and teachers who challenged me to think beyond my “negative example” spirituality.

I moved back home, and over the course of many years (too many now to think about), became a leader in the church in which I had grown up. The church had changed in many ways, but still retained some of its fundamentalist roots. And I began to define my spirituality by attitudes I don’t hold — don’t insist on non-essential doctrinal points, don’t focus on cultural externals (drink and dance!), don’t withdraw from the culture. I defined myself as not a fundamentalist. I started to feel pretty good about how wise and broad-minded I’d grown.

Yet I’m wondering if I’ve grown that much at all. I still seem to define my spirituality by what I’m not. How much harder it is to be defined by something I am — to be defined by love, joy, peace, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, self-control. Maybe there’s room for yet another chapter in this story.

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