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Last night was the girl scout square dance. What a blast! A couple of hundred goofy, paunchy dads do-si-do’ing with their little girls in the high school gym. In addition to some good clean fun, I learned two things through this:

1. There are words to the “Chicken Dance” song. You know the dance — it starts with the chicken beaks, goes to the flapping wings, and then to the little tail wiggle. So picture that, with about a hundred little girls, singing spontaneously, in unison, and at the top of their lungs: “I don’t want to be a chicken, I don’t want to be a duck, so kiss my butt!” Where do they learn this stuff? I almost doubled over laughing.

2. All high school gymns are kept at a balmy 99 degrees and 90% relative humidity, they all look and smell the same, and as soon as you walk into them, they trigger long repressed memories of that whimpy kid who never could seem to do anything right, who never quite lived up to his potential, and who was mortally afraid that the other guys might notice his relative lack of hair in various manly places. You know, that “friend” of yours who grew up to become a lawyer or pastor or teacher or something, who wonders how he came to be living in a nice house full of little kids who call him “dad,” and who now spends way too much time in front of a computer screen talking to people he’s never even met.

Along with a number of other dads, I help with the “Tree Climbers” group at my local church. This is a group of rowdy six and seven-year-old boys, with the typical activities of a craft, some games (usually involving hitting the other boys with a red rubber ball, as in dodge ball), and a short Bible story.

We are covering the stories of Genesis, and my unenviable task last night was to tell the story of Jacob and Esau. You might recall from Genesis 25 that Jacob swindled Esau out of the birthright for a pot of stew, and from Gen. 27 that Jacob conspired with his mother (who didn’t get along with Esau’s wife) to trick his elderly and nearly blind father into giving him a blessing intended for Esau. You might also recall from Genesis 28 that the blessings of the Abrahamic covenant were passed on by God to Jacob through the “Jacob’s Ladder” dream rather than to Esau. And, you might remember Romans 9:13, in which God, explaining His election of Jacob, says “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” How do I explain this to six and seven-year-olds?

In tonight’s Globe Trekker, Zay Harding travels through Western Canada. Although Globe Trekker is usually the best show on TV, this one didn’t cut it. Harding is kind of boring — he lacks Ian Wright’s Brit snarkiness, Justine Shapiro’s sweet-but-superior affect, Shilpa Metha’s exotic sexiness, or Megan McCormick’s sense of girl-next-door fun. And, the location wasn’t culturally intersting. White water rafting might be fun to try, but it’s dull to watch. But the biggest turn-off was the frontier bar that maintains a tradition of serving a mummified human big toe floating in a scotch. You drink the scotch and let the toe touch your lips, whereupon the toe is returned to a cedar chest containing a selection of toes the bar has collected. Western Canadian culture at its best! Yuk!

I’m pleased to say I’m Reviewer of the Week at Mind and Media. Check it out, including my dorky professional headshot photo!

This just in from Sojourners’ April Fools e-mail:

Rapper hurt by falling dollar

American entertainers have started feeling the effect of the U.S. dollar’s precipitous devaluation on world markets. In many European venues, for example, platinum-selling rap artist 50 Cent has been forced to perform under the name of 37 Cent, depending on the daily rate. Just last weekend, after another exchange hit in England, the rapper had no choice but to begin his tour of the British Isles as 10 Shillings, Threepence, a name that may undermine his urban street thug persona. Fortunately, because of China’s commitment to artificially prop up American rap imports, 50 Cent is still selling strong in Asia as 74 Yen.

Messy Christian writes thoughtfully about how “weary” she has become with Christian in-fighting in the blogsphere. I feel her pain. It’s too bad that some folks in the blogsphere seem to think that right doctrine (and here in America, right politics) is the sine qua non of the faith. Doctrine is important, but what’s more important is how we live (as McLaren likes to say, “orthopraxy”).

In fact, our doctrine tells us so. I remember leading a Bible study on First John years ago and being unsettled by its emphasis on orthopraxy and it’s relative lack of emphasis on orthodoxy. Can it be more clear than this: “We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. . . . Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” (1 John 2:3, 6).

I’ve avoided commenting on the Terry Schiavo case because it’s such a hot-button issue and I haven’t studied it carefully enough. In my experience, cases like this are factually, legally, and ethically complicated, and seldom reduce to a single moral response. When I practiced law, I was involved in a few cases involving insurance and medical care. Usually I represented insurers that were denying coverage for care. On the surface, these cases seemed to present a classic moral situation: the big, evil insurance company against the suffering individual. Yet, most of the time, a detailed review of the facts, law and public policy involved in the case revealed significant moral ambiguity about the proper result. So, I try to reserve judgment in a case like Schiavo’s, unless I can dig into the underlying law and evidence.

I’ve gotten copies of some of the Schiavo court filings, and I hope to become better educated soon. Initially, though, there are two trends I’m seeing in the faith-based blogsphere that I’d like to address.

Today Christians around the world celebrate Palm Sunday, the start of the passion week. In my home church, the children’s choirs came down the aisles with palm fronds, a group of the kids performed a sweeping, graceful liturgical dance, and we sang great old hymns with the organ and trumpets blaring. In doing this we recalled Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem, as the crowd shouted “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord,” just days before Jesus would be crucified and rise again. (John 12:12)

It’s unlikely the crowd present on that first Palm Sunday appreciated how Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem represented an acceleration towards the divine telos of history. In fact, John 12:16 tells us that even Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand the triumphal entry until after Jesus had ascended to heaven. But here was the tip of the spear, thousands of years of waiting, finally arrived. Even as the lambs were being driven towards the city for sacrifice during the passover, the Lamb of God rode in willingly. Soon sin would be defeated once for all.

Now we wait for the final act of the divine telos: when Christ returns victorious, judges sin, and establishes His Kingdom in fullness. The final scene is described in Revelation 21: “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” At the right time, Christ came to offer himself on the cross. At the right time, he will come again.

As we celebrate this passion week, those of us who name Christ as Lord eagerly anticipate his return, and proclaim the invitation Christ himself gives: “To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.” (Rev. 21:6.)

I hadn’t heard of Stan Grenz’s sudden passing until this morning. I didn’t know Dr. Grenz personally, but I appreciated and was greatly challenged by his book Beyond Foundationalism. I once e-mailed him to comment on a blog post of mine about his book, and he promptly e-mailed me back with some helpful comments. There are many moving eulogies on his web site from folks who knew him.

Here are pictures of me and St. Patty. She’s a labrador / something-or-other mix. We adopted her from a local shelter today. Isn’t she the sweetest thing!