New Years' Resolutions

This is my first post as a proud member of Every Square Inch, a diverse group of faith bloggers who have joined together to share their thoughts and opinions.

I’m not one for New Years’ resolutions. I think this is because I know myself too well. I’m an obsessive-compulsive sort of guy who dives all-guns into something until something else catches my attention. I know that if I resolve to do something now, I might pursue it for a month or so, but I’ll soon lose enthusiasm. I don’t want to cheapen my “resolve” by spending it on things I’m not really resolved to do.

I’ve also lived through too many uncertain circumstances recently to place much value on my own resolve. A few years ago, I was a partner in a major law firm. Through a series of events I never would have predicted or wanted, I left that prestigious job to become a lowly college professor — a job I love, but a job that is dramatically different than what I did as a practicing lawyer. Within the past year, my otherwise healthy little boy began having seizures, and his speech has not developed much beyond babbling. Just two months ago, I was the principal worship leader in a service with over 600 people. Last month, the music director resigned, the ministry was thrown into chaos, and my own role in the ministry has dwindled to almost nothing.

Life moves more swiftly and powerfully than my resolve. I saw a video clip a few days ago from the recent Asian tsunami. There was footage of a man standing on the beach, leaning towards the onrushing wave. He couldn’t do anything at that point but lean forward and brace for impact. With the force of that wave, his resolution certainly did nothing for him, and he undoubtedly died.

Life is like that, even more so if we have some glimmer of the “powers and principalities” with which we contend. None of us has the resolve to stand firm. But the Church will stand, and prevail. The victory of Christ and his bride is sure, even when my resolve falters.

Yes, there are many things I hope to accomplish this year. I hope to continue a reading program in the Church fathers; I hope to gain a more complete, nuanced understanding of issues relating to faith and science, without slacking on either the faith or the science; I hope to write some meaningful music; I hope to find my way into an even richer ministry role than I had before; I hope to love my wife and children passionately; I hope to publish some good academic work; I hope to find my way into another graduate program, maybe a Ph.D.; I hope my writing and blogging will become more meaningful and edifying. But this is deeper than all my resolutions: to cast myself this year upon the Grace of Christ, to take refuge in his Church, and to find my true hope and home in him.