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Dave the Loudmouth

My father must’ve been cleaning out his attic again. He dropped off this very funny letter to the editor I wrote to my town newspaper when I was about 15. One of my summer jobs was as a little league umpire. This letter responds to a letter from a “concerned parent” complaining about how bad little league umpiring was costing teams games. “Ludicrous,” “childishness,” “injustice” — man, I knew how to hammer home the rhetoric even then, not to mention the snarky “concerned umpire” signature line! My dad also, coincidentally, found one of my old standardized achievement test reports from around that same time: 90th percentile in languages, 70th or so in math. Pretty much the same as every standardized test I’ve ever taken, and probably pretty much what I’ll do on the GRE next month. Sheesh! I guess I’m just genetically a loudmouth and not the methodical engineer type.